The Watch - sooner or later, you’re going to have to talk to the local law enforcement. They’re going to want you to come down to the precinct for this or that. Well. When you get there, stuff is going on. Find out what, by rolling on the tables below for inspiration:

table: template
count: 1
markdown: true
format: paragraph

Things the Watch is Working On

d10 Things the Watch Is Working On
1 Two big fat ogres cooking up a batch of {Ogre Dinner}.
2 Some punks have been defacing {Vandalism target} with {Vandalism type} of {Vandalism subject}.
3 A serial killer with a weird fetish for {Weird Fetish}.
4 The Mayor wants to throw a ball. This is a security nightmare because {Security Nightmare}.
5 There’s a vigilante who dresses up as {Vigilante Costume}. They call him {Vigilante Name}.
6 Collecting coins from parking meters. The meters are {Meter}.
7 Harassing youths that are just trying to chill. A {Person} {Person Description} keeps calling the watch on them.
8 A rival precinct is trying to make them look bad, claiming the precinct is {Precinct Description}.
9 Someone found a big bag of gold and dropped it off.
10 Someone stole an important painting, Thomas Crown-style.

Ogre Dinner

d6 Ogre Dinner
1 Mama Maglione Lasagne
2 rabit ear pies
3 pea soup
4 old boot stew
5 doughnuts with honey glazing
6 noisy fairy fries

Vandalism

d6 Vandalism target Vandalism type Vandalism subject
1 the local dungeon walls magic graffiti Yo’ Mama, a well-known Ogress of the night
2 the mayor’s house crude drawings {Ogre Dinner}
3 the precinct alchemically etched depictions troll reproductive organs
4 the cobble stones in the market square lewd caricatures the Watch
5 city hall boldly painted images the kings new robes
6 the statue of a local hero hastily scribbled notes on the subject a local football team

Weird Fetish

d6 Weird Fetish
1 sea shells
2 the economy
3 houseplants
4 {Ogre Dinner}
5 {Vigilante Costume}
6 pasta

Security Nightmare

d6 Security Nightmare
1 most citizens are armed to their teeth
2 it’s that time of the year again
3 their partner is such a Karen
4 the ball room is under construction in an unstable pocket dimension
5 all the chefs in town are on strike
6 the asylum for the criminally arcane has recently misplaced most of its inhabitants

Vigilante

d6 Vigilante Costume Vigilante Name
1 a badger the Badgerman
2 Raggedy Anne Raggedy Anne
3 a policeman Fred
4 a peanut Nutso Fatso
5 a swan the Birdman
6 a pork sausage Babe

Meter

d6 Meter
1 all mimics
2 covered in goop
3 defaced with {Vandalism Type}
4 sentient and on strike
5 all empty
6 not very popular with the citizens

Person

d6 Person Person Description
1 little old lady possessed by a demon
2 regular joe on the lam
3 mom in a tough spot
4 ginger fireman with nothing to lose
5 neurotic pixie hoping for a better tomorrow
6 slightly tipsie kobold carrying too many groceries

Precinct Description

d6 Precinct Description
1 smelly
2 soft on crime
3 run by trolls
4 behind on their taxes
5 is in cahoots with the BBEG
6 is a bunch of doughnut munching losers 
template
  {Things the Watch Is Working On}